Aphorisms by author: Mark Twain

Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
By theme : Humor Wit
Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; the cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
By theme : Humor Wit
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
By theme : Humor Success Wit
Fortune knocks at every man`s door once in a life, but in a good many cases the man is in a neighbouring saloon and does not hear her.
By theme : Happiness Humor Wit
The art of prophecy is very difficult - especially with respect to the future.
By theme : Future Humor Wit
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
By theme : Humor Wit
The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation.
By theme : Humor Success
Human nature is the same everywhere; it deifies success, it has nothing but scorn for defeat.
By theme : Psychology Success
The first half of life consists of the capacity to enjoy without the chance; the last half consists of the chance without the capacity.
By theme : Humor Life Wit
Be careless in your dress if you must, but keep a tidy soul.
By theme : Behavior Wit
There are many humorous things in the world, among them the white man`s notion that he is less savage than the other savages.
By theme : Humor Wit
There are laws to protect the freedom of the press`s speech, but none that are worth anything to protect the people from the press.
By theme : Humor Liberty Wit
The lack of money is the root of all evil.
By theme : Evil Humor Money Wit
I find that principles have no real force except when one is well fed.
By theme : Humor Society Wit
You can`t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
By theme : Humor Reason Wit
Classic: a book people praise but don`t read.
By theme : Wit
Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
By theme : Happiness Humor Wit
Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
By theme : Humor
The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.
By theme : Humor
In religion and politics people`s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand and without examination.
By theme : Humor Wit
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