Aphorisms by author: Henry Louis Mencken

The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor.
By theme : Society Wit
Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood.
By theme : Wit
Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expensive and nefarious kind of government ever heard of on earth.
By theme : Democracy State Wit
Democracy is a theory according to which the two thieves will steal less than one and three - less than two and four - less than three, etc.
By theme : Democracy Humor
No normal man ever fell in love after thirty when the kidneys begin to disintegrate.
By theme : Humor Love Men Wit
Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule - and both commonly succeed, and are right.
By theme : Democracy Wit
On one issue at least, men and women agree: they both distrust women.
By theme : Humor Men Wit Women
Time stays, we go.
By theme : Humor Time
The average man does not want to be free. He simply wants to be safe.
By theme : Liberty
He marries best who puts it off until it is too late.
By theme : Humor Marriage Wit
Alimony - the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.
By theme : Humor Wit
Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another.
By theme : Humor Men Wit Women
A man always blames the woman who fools him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark.
By theme : Humor Men Women
The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated.
By theme : Money Society
A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier.
By theme : Humor
A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
By theme : Humor Wit
The idea that the sole aim of punishment is to prevent crime is obviously grounded upon the theory that crime can be prevented, which is almost as dubious as the notion that poverty can be prevented.
By theme : Humor Society Wit
What restrains us from killing is partly fear of punishment, partly moral scruple, and partly what may be described as a sense of humor.
By theme : Behavior Humor Psychology
Democracy is only a dream: it should be put in the same category as Arcadia, Santa Claus and Heaven.
By theme : Democracy Humor Wit
Philosophy first constructs a scheme of happiness and then tries to fit the world to it.
By theme : Humor Philosophy Wit
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