Aphorisms by author: Steven Wright

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
By theme : Humor Wit
OK, so what`s the speed of dark?
By theme : Humor Wit
When everything is coming your way, you`re in the wrong lane.
By theme : Humor Wit
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
By theme : Conscience Humor Wit
You can`t have everything. Where would you put it?
By theme : Humor Wit
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
By theme : Humor Wit
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I`m afraid of widths.
By theme : Humor Wit
Borrow money from pessimists - they don`t expect it back.
By theme : Humor
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
By theme : Humor Wit
Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
By theme : Humor Wit
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
By theme : Humor Thought Wit
Support bacteria - they`re the only culture some people have.
By theme : Culture Humor Wit
If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
By theme : Humor Wit
Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
By theme : Humor War Wit
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