Aphorisms by theme: Wit

It is always the best policy to speak the truth, unless of course you are an exceptionally good liar.

Jerome K. Jerome

This author aphorisms
By theme : Behavior Lie Truth Wit
Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.

Irwin Corey

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Marriage Wit
Books have the same enemies as people: fire, humidity, animals, weather, and their own content.

Paul Valery

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wit
Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought - particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.

Woody Allen

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wit
The holy passion of friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring in nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.

Mark Twain

This author aphorisms
By theme : Friendship Humor Money Wit
It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry.

Henry Louis Mencken

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Religion Wit Women
Never get married in college; it`s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you`ve already made one mistake.

Elbert Hubbard

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Marriage Wit
Women do not like timid men. Cats do not like prudent mice.

Henry Louis Mencken

This author aphorisms
By theme : Men Wit Women
When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part.

George Bernard Shaw

This author aphorisms
By theme : Feelings Love Wit
The world gets better every day - then worse again in the evening.

Kin Hubbard

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Life Wit
Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight.

Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

This author aphorisms
By theme : Love Marriage Wit
An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.

Henry Louis Mencken

This author aphorisms
By theme : Person Wit
Friendship, like credit, is highest when it is not used.

Elbert Hubbard

This author aphorisms
By theme : Cynicism Friendship Wit
Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.

Wilson Mizner

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wit
You`ll live. Only the best get killed.

Charles de Gaulle

This author aphorisms
By theme : Destiny Life Wit
Prayer must never be answered: if it is, it ceases to be prayer and becomes correspondence.

Oscar Wilde

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Religion Wit
It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness. Poverty and wealth have both failed.

Kin Hubbard

This author aphorisms
By theme : Happiness Wealth Wit
The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.

Kin Hubbard

This author aphorisms
By theme : Finance Humor Money Wit
No man is regular in his attendance at the House of Commons until he is married.

Benjamin Disraeli

This author aphorisms
By theme : Marriage Wit
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

Mark Twain

This author aphorisms
By theme : Behavior Cynicism Humor Wit
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