Aphorisms by theme: Humor

We don`t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.

George Bernard Shaw

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wit
To you I`m an atheist, but for God I`m a constructive opposition.

Woody Allen

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By theme : Humor Wit
Beware of women who do not hide their age. A woman who reveals her age is capable of anything.

Oscar Wilde

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wit Women
Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other.

Edgar Watson Howe

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By theme : Humor Wit
The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

Dorothy Parker

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By theme : Humor Wit
Egotist. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me.

Ambrose Bierce

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By theme : Egoism Humor Wit
Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.

Fred Allen

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By theme : Humor Wit
Martyrdom is the only way to become famous without having any chances for that.

George Bernard Shaw

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By theme : Humor Wit
Money may not buy happiness, but I`d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.

Francoise Sagan

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Money Wit
When everything is coming your way, you`re in the wrong lane.

Steven Wright

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By theme : Humor Wit
A politician is a statesman who approaches every question with an open mouth.

Adlai E. Stevenson

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Politics Wit
It is unhealthy to live. He who lives, dies.

Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Life Wit
Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.

Mark Twain

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By theme : Humor Wit
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Steven Wright

This author aphorisms
By theme : Conscience Humor Wit
You can`t have everything. Where would you put it?

Steven Wright

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wit
You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.

Franklin Pierce Jones

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By theme : Humor Wit
Love of one`s country recognizes no frontiers... of other countries.

Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

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By theme : Humor Patriotism Wit
A pessimist is a man who looks both ways when he crosses the street.

Laurence Johnston Peter

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By theme : Humor Wit
If a woman doesn`t chase a man a little, she doesn`t love him.

Edgar Watson Howe

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Love Men Wit Women
A husband is a guy who tells you when you`ve got on too much lipstick.

Ogden Nash

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Husband Wife Wit
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