Aphorisms by theme: Humor

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

Dorothy Parker

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wit
Egotist. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me.

Ambrose Bierce

This author aphorisms
By theme : Egoism Humor Wit
Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.

Fred Allen

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By theme : Humor Wit
Martyrdom is the only way to become famous without having any chances for that.

George Bernard Shaw

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By theme : Humor Wit
Money may not buy happiness, but I`d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.

Francoise Sagan

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Money Wit
When everything is coming your way, you`re in the wrong lane.

Steven Wright

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wit
A politician is a statesman who approaches every question with an open mouth.

Adlai E. Stevenson

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Politics Wit
It is unhealthy to live. He who lives, dies.

Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Life Wit
Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.

Mark Twain

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By theme : Humor Wit
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Steven Wright

This author aphorisms
By theme : Conscience Humor Wit
You can`t have everything. Where would you put it?

Steven Wright

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wit
You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.

Franklin Pierce Jones

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By theme : Humor Wit
Love of one`s country recognizes no frontiers... of other countries.

Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Patriotism Wit
A pessimist is a man who looks both ways when he crosses the street.

Laurence Johnston Peter

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By theme : Humor Wit
If a woman doesn`t chase a man a little, she doesn`t love him.

Edgar Watson Howe

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Love Men Wit Women
A husband is a guy who tells you when you`ve got on too much lipstick.

Ogden Nash

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Husband Wife Wit
There`s a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven`t the time to enjoy it.

Henry Wheeler Shaw

This author aphorisms
By theme : Health Humor Wit
Fanatic is a person who obstinately and jealously defends the opinion that you do not share.

Ambrose Bierce

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By theme : Humor Wit
Marriage is not a hinder for those who are able to be happy.

Jean Rostand

This author aphorisms
By theme : Happiness Humor Marriage Wit
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

Steven Wright

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wit
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