Aphorisms by theme: Humor

The habitually punctual make all their mistakes right on time.

Laurence Johnston Peter

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Time Wit
God made everything out of nothing, but the nothingness shows through.

Paul Valery

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wit
I prefer the sign NO ENTRY to the one that says NO EXIT.

Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wit
If you can`t answer a man`s argument, all is not lost; you can still call him vile names.

Elbert Hubbard

This author aphorisms
By theme : Behavior Humor Relations
A + B + C = Success if, A = Hard Work, B = Hard Play, C = Keeping your mouth shut.

Albert Einstein

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor
Creditors have better memories than debtors.

Benjamin Franklin

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Relations
A man who desires to get married should know either everything or nothing.

Oscar Wilde

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Marriage Men
Never do anything yourself that others can do for you.

Agatha Christie

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wit
The secret to humor is surprise.

Aristotle

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor
I`m not denying the women are foolish: God Almighty made them to match the men.

George Eliot

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Men Women
The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animals.

Henry Louis Mencken

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wit
None of us can boast about the morality of our ancestors. The records do not show that Adam and Eve were married.

Edgar Watson Howe

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Marriage Morality Wit
An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows.

Dwight David Eisenhower

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wit
Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods.

Henry Louis Mencken

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Politics Society Wit
When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn`t a sign that they "don`t understand" one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.

Helen Rowland

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Men Relations Wit Women
I never put off till tomorrow what I can do the day after.

Oscar Wilde

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wit
The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn`t commit when he had the opportunity.

Helen Rowland

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Men Wit
It is possible to make jam from dreams. All you have to add is fruit and sugar.

Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wit
Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense.

Helen Rowland

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Love Wit
I`ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.

Mark Twain

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Life Wit
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