Aphorisms by theme: Humor

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one`s hat keeps blowing off.

Woody Allen

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wit
Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.

Irwin Corey

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Marriage Wit
Books have the same enemies as people: fire, humidity, animals, weather, and their own content.

Paul Valery

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wit
Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought - particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.

Woody Allen

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wit
But in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.

Benjamin Franklin

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Life
The holy passion of friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring in nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.

Mark Twain

This author aphorisms
By theme : Friendship Humor Money Wit
A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

Oscar Wilde

This author aphorisms
By theme : Behavior Cynicism Humor
It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry.

Henry Louis Mencken

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Religion Wit Women
Never get married in college; it`s hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you`ve already made one mistake.

Elbert Hubbard

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Marriage Wit
Remember, it`s as easy to marry a rich woman as a poor woman.

William Makepeace Thackeray

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Marriage
The world gets better every day - then worse again in the evening.

Kin Hubbard

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Life Wit
Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.

Wilson Mizner

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wit
Prayer must never be answered: if it is, it ceases to be prayer and becomes correspondence.

Oscar Wilde

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Religion Wit
How is it that little children are so intelligent and men so stupid? It must be education that does it.

Alexandre Dumas

This author aphorisms
By theme : Education Humor
The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.

Kin Hubbard

This author aphorisms
By theme : Finance Humor Money Wit
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

Mark Twain

This author aphorisms
By theme : Behavior Cynicism Humor Wit
Every saint has a past and every sinner a future.

Oscar Wilde

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Religion Wit
It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.

Henry Louis Mencken

This author aphorisms
By theme : Behavior Humor Truth Wit
When in doubt, tell the truth.

Mark Twain

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Truth
Don`t knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn`t start a conversation if it didn`t change once in a while.

Kin Hubbard

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wit
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