Aphorisms by theme: Humor

Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts, and his higher nature - and another woman to help him forget them.

Helen Rowland

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Men Wit Women
Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children.

George Bernard Shaw

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wit Youth
Hospital is a place where they wake you up to give you a sleeping pill.

Bertrand Russell

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wit
The art of prophecy is very difficult - especially with respect to the future.

Mark Twain

This author aphorisms
By theme : Future Humor Wit
Add a few drops of venom to a half truth and you have an absolute truth.

Eric Hoffer

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Truth Wit
Time stays, we go.

Henry Louis Mencken

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Time
Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years to the age of their best friend.

Marcel Achard

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wit Women
Nothing pleases a woman quite so well as to look so sweet that a man wants to kiss her, and then abuse him for his impudence.

Edgar Watson Howe

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Behavior Wit Women
Can the cannibal speak in the name of those he ate?

Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wit
If you do not know how to lie, cheat and steal, turn your attention to politics and learn.

Henry Wheeler Shaw

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Politics Wit
A great success is made up of an aggregation of little ones.

Elbert Hubbard

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Success
Superfluous wealth can buy superfluities only.

Henry David Thoreau

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wealth
Don`t ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, nobody will remember it.

Henry Wheeler Shaw

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wit
The career of a writer is comparable to that of a woman of easy virtue. You write first for pleasure, later for the pleasure of others and finally for money.

Marcel Achard

This author aphorisms
By theme : Art Creativity Humor Wit
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

Mark Twain

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wit
The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation.

Mark Twain

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Success
The longer a marriage is put off, the less probability that it will occur at all.

Edgar Watson Howe

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Marriage
A man forgets his good luck next day, but remembers his bad luck until next year.

Edgar Watson Howe

This author aphorisms
By theme : Behavior Humor Psychology
I`m only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller.

George Bernard Shaw

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wit
Some folks can look so busy doing nothing that they seem indispensable.

Kin Hubbard

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wit
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