Aphorisms by theme: Humor

Success does not consist in never making blunders, but in never making the same one the second time.

Henry Wheeler Shaw

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Success
Optimists and pessimists differ only on the date of the end of the world.

Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wit
I find that principles have no real force except when one is well fed.

Mark Twain

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Society Wit
I want a man who`s kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?

Zsa Zsa Gabor

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wit
I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their good intellects. A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

Oscar Wilde

This author aphorisms
By theme : Friendship Humor Relations Wit
Occasions are rare; and those, who know how to seize upon them, are rarer.

Henry Wheeler Shaw

This author aphorisms
By theme : Business Humor Life
A good cigar is as great a comfort to a man as a good cry is to a woman.

Edward George Bulwer - Lytton

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Men Wit Women
It is a woman`s business to get married as soon as possible, and a man`s to keep unmarried as long as he can.

George Bernard Shaw

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Marriage Men Wit Women
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

Fred Allen

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor
Most people want security in this world, not liberty.

Henry Louis Mencken

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Liberty
You can`t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

Mark Twain

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Reason Wit
I`d like to live as a poor man with lots of money.

Pablo Picasso

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wealth Wit
The human race has improved everything, but the human race.

Adlai E. Stevenson

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wit
The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.

Kin Hubbard

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor
What is the robbing of a bank compared to the founding of a bank?

Bertolt Brecht

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Society Wit
Beyond each corner new directions lie in wait.

Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wit
Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death do them join.

Elbert Hubbard

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Marriage Wit
To avoid mistakes and regrets always consult your wife before engaging in a flirtation.

Edgar Watson Howe

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wife Wit
A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn`t know.

Henry Louis Mencken

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Person Relations Wit
Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

Dorothy Parker

This author aphorisms
By theme : Humor Wit
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